I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
