watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
