i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
