woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
