That's when you crack a 10am beer
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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