I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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