He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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