I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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