I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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