So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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