It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
