I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The air was thick with penises
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
