all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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