We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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