I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
