Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
