Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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