I just threw up on my dentist
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
vagina is talking i cant
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
