whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
