We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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