Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
