i think my tv is drunk
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
