whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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