Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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