I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
