They should really pass out barf bags in church
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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