Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
