even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
