Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
