i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
