i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
