dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
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