Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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