I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
