I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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