Four minutes until I can fart!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
