the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
