hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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