he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
