This dress was meant to end up on your floor
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
