when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
