Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
