Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
