we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
