It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
