Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
