I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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