hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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