The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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