I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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