Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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