Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
