I'm going to jail i love you
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
