Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
